The news you need to know: 9/2/23
My roundup of this week’s news.

Morbid Cocktail Talk: Pompeii victims died of Asphyxiation. The air was so thick with ash it made it impossible to breath.
Shameless plug: How I became directly related to Jesus Christ. The problem genealogy apps.
Martha Stewart harvested ice from an iceberg for cruise cocktails. So that’s why they’re all melting.
Firm burns coal and tires to generate energy for bitcoin mining.
Offshore windfarm provides clean power for oil and gas operations. Can you say oxymoron?
True loo innovation: Poo can’t stick to super-slick toilet bowl.
Chicago TV news crew robbed while shooting story on increased robberies in the area.
Puffy jacket that looks like a keyboard. It’s all fun and game until a stranger hits “return”.
Personality traits based on your Mexican food preferences. What about people who like chalupas? We’ve been left out.
Nice photo essay on abandoned theaters. From when entertainment was a community gathering rather than a private experience on your phone.
Adding waste coffee grounds to concrete makes it 30% stronger.
Myth busted: Pee is not sterile, so don’t drink it. You’d think that would be obvious.
Vacation destination: Picnic at a table dangling 300 ft above thundering waterfall. Makes it easy to wash up afterwards.
Those we lost: Price is Right host Bob Barker, Cartoon voice of Harley Quinn Arleen Sorkin, Potentate of Parrotheads and Mayor of Margaritaville Jimmy Buffet.
OUR ANIMAL FRIENDS
Scientist wears giant bird head for a year to fool birds into letting him monitor their nest. The birds were still frightened by the extremely silly “bird bird” headgear.
Guy’s car is modified for his longhorn bull to ride shotgun. It would have been funnier if he drove a Nissan Leaf.
Bears take over town of Yellowknife when humans evacuate for wildfire.
NOTHIN BUT THE STATS
Julia Child’s top 20 ingredients. And the winner is: butter.
22.5% of pubs in Ireland have closed since 2005. Why? It’s just not economically practical anymore.
Florida has 6.5% of the US population but accounts for 20% of new COVID cases and hospitalizations.
FOR THE RECORD
New record: Man gives 153 hugs in 1 minute. But did he really mean them?
Man gets struck by lightning twice in 5 minutes. But I don’t think he was actually trying for the record.
Most expensive moldy cheese: $32,800.
Woman who started growing her hair in 1990 holds record for longest hair at over 5 feet: But should it count since she has a mullet?
City creates 1230 lb ball of quesillo cheese to break the record.
ARTIFICIAL IGNORANCE
Judge say AI-generated art can’t be copyrighted.
Google to watermark AI images.
Mycologists worry that AI generated books about mushroom edibility will get people killed.
US Army mounts rifles on robotic dogs.
FOR THE MUSKIVITES
Musk gives demo of FSD (full self driving) Tesla and has to manually abort when it tries to run a red light.
Esports crowd boos Musk for ruining Twitter: “Getting booed by Valorant players is like getting wedgies by the anime club in middle school.”
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