The news you need to know. 04/29/23
My weekly roundup of links to the news.
Hey Tucker Carlson, I hear CNN has an opening. Hey Don Lemon, I hear Fox News has an opening. Happy to help.
How they immortalized Kim Kardashian in wax. I know what you’re thinking, but I found myself drooling over their lighting arrangement instead.
Man jailed 30 years for a murder he didn’t commit is freed and finally meets his 80-yr-old penpal.
Obituary for Harry Belafonte, the man who paved the way for Raggae.
Scientists determine Mars has a gooey core. Mmmm nougat.
Texas Dept of Agriculture orders employees to dress appropriate for their biological gender. But apparently bad choices in cowboy hats are still a gawd-given right.
Exorcist warn Christian Ouija board game is trap from the devil. And says the Bible forbids Ouija boards. Guess this version of the Bible was written after 1890 when Ouija boards were invented.
Why filling your recycle bin with things that don’t get recycled is a bad idea.
Flower Men of Saudi Arabia, a fascinating ornamental tradition.
French Fries linked to depression and anxiety. I was hoping the article said they cause depression if you don’t get them and anxiety until you do. No such luck.
Plastics in food packaging found in the brain two hours after ingestion. Zikes: Are test subjects snorting it, erwhut?
Lone parrots that talk with other parrots via Facetime are less lonely. I’m assuming parrots that order treats over Alexa are even happier.
Scientists explore what sex in space will be like. Uh, messy.
In Vitro robot uses by a Playstation controller: Not as kinky as it sounds.
FDA approves pill made from poop: All the trouble humans have getting it out and the FDA want’s to put it in us. (It’s a treatment for C Diff and the 2nd approved poop pill. Bon appetit.)
China says its chatbots must be communist. Or what? Be sent to labor camps in Mongolia?
Man uses ChatGPT to pick winning lotto numbers. I’m convinced that AI will eventually evolve to the point that it’s sitting on a couch watching Let’s Make a Deal eating Ho-Hos.
SCOTUS decides AI shouldn’t have rights. What? They made a decision that makes sense?
Grimes will share 50% of royalties with anyone who has a hit with a deepfake of her voice. Now, THERE’S a futuristic entrepreneur.
Marvel director Joe Russo expects full AI movies within 2 years. Well, they gotta be better than the reality TV humans think up.
Consumer Flying Car for under $100K. I’m not buying until it has cupwarmers.
iPhone 14 Emergency SOS via Sat saves three in flooded canyon. For all the people iPhone has saved, we need a Marvel iPhone movie.
The mouth pad: a mouse on roof of your mouth controlled by your tongue. Would make talking difficult since about half of vocal sounds require your tongue to touch the roof of your mouse. Er, mouth.
Old School Bio Hack: Man had magnets installed in fingertips to cheat at dice game: What? Counting cards was not risky enough?
IT’S ALL IN THE PAST NOW
Roman numerals found on Stone of Destiny to be used in King Charles coronation? All this time we thought the rock was sooo important, but it turns out it’s just a betting card for Roman gladiator sports.
California has world’s oldest tree at 4853 years old.
Researchers solve mystery of 819-day Mayan calendar. And they’re partying like it’s 999.
You can support The News You Need to Know by buying me a coffee below.